Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Train Debauchery

For starters we all know I  hate ridging the train, but I’ve learned to deal with it and it sure beats having to pay both arms and 3 legs (yours and first born’s) for gas. Now what started as a usual Tuesday commute turned into something that took me by surprise....

I arrive at the station at 7:16ish—just in time for the 7:18 A train. (Yes I’ve timed it...) For some reason it was late and the next one didn’t come until 7:24. Despite knowing I was going to be late for work,  I was more so upset that I didn’t get to hear the 7:18 train conductors smooth operator voice. (side note: I swear the guy sounds like he should be on late night radio! His voice is so smooth and sexy like! Picture this, "Good Morning ladies and gentleman welcome to the A train experience." and when leaving the train he says: "Have a blessed and wonderful day. Don’t let it be cold out, he says: Have a safe warm and wonderful weekend." I’m convinced he once worked in radio.) Any who I digress.... So the train leaves and since I know if I leave anytime past 7:21 it’s inevitable that I’m going to be late. As expected the train was PACKED, I stood there cheek to cheek with a ladies who’s hair smelt like fresh cocoa butter (yes I was that close). Annoyed, I looked over to notice a guy demonstrating one of my many pet peeves—Pet Peeve #124: When people get on a packed train with a HUGE back pack and keep the darn thing ON! I mean seriously,  we are already close, and here you are with this huge backpack bumping folks left and right. So I kindly nudged away at the gentleman until he got the point to either take it off, or move away from me.

We finally arrive at the first stop and only a handful of people get off, then what appears to be a homeless man begins to enter the train. Nothing against homeless people, but quite frankly  I wasn’t  in the mood for any possible smell he may be bringing, or any foolishness that may ensue. However, after further inspection and an inevitable smell test, he wasn’t homeless or at least he didn’t smell to be. He rummages his way through the crowd and makes his resting stop right alongside yours truly. Ok fine, I had my headphones on and was ready for the stop in which I knew the majority of people would get as we're riding, I’m getting sniffs of coca butter, jamming to some Chris Brown and all of a sudden I notice that the fake homeless guy is closing in on me! At first I thought nothing of it b/c like I said it was a packed train, so I figured he was standing there cause he had no choice. But then I noticed every time I tried to move he moved with me... getting completely irritated and feeling disgusted I turned around to see him literally standing directly behind me with enough room behind him in which there was no reason he should have been that close. I felt soooo disgusted and automatically knew he was just trying to get a free feel. Luckily for him we were arriving at a stop and he got off. Maybe because he noticed the look in my eye when I turned around and gave him the stinkiest stink eye he had ever seen and was about to tell him something real nasty! Long story short was the bum was trying to get a free feel and it made me feel absolutely disgusted ewwwww. Maybe I’m getting claustrophobic or something but I just cant take a packed train!

P.s. I just realized this story was so unnecessarily long but hey I can be long winded at times. Sorry J

ok bye!

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